It’s been quite a long time since my last post, so I thought I’d recap the top five incidents that have happened during the rest of 2011. Strangely, all of these incidents happened in the month of October, within a week of each other. Some even happening within the same day.
1. During the weekend of October 22nd, I traveled via coach bus to Philadelphia with some friends to visit another friend who lives just outside of the city. Although I thought I might have some problems early on, the trip was pretty quiet until Sunday rolled around. That morning, we decided to have brunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Sitting at the table, I carefully scanned the menu for meatless options as I’m a vegetarian. After perusing the menu, I decided to order the breakfast burrito, hold the meat, with a side of black beans. I quickly dug into my meal, only to feel very ill minutes later (I think the beans were most likely cooked with animal fat). Sitting there, unable to move, I dry-heaved, and fearing I might vomit at the table, got up and ran to the ladies room. As I entered, a wave of relief passed over me but abruptly dissipated when a woman at the sink saw me and the following conversation ensued:
Woman: You can’t come in here, this is the ladies room.
Me: (Ready to vomit, pointing at my chest and running into the open stall) “I’m a woman!”
2. That very same day, after brunch we decided to head to a nearby mall for a little afternoon shopping. After the Cheesecake incident, I decided to take it easy, so one friend and I hung out inside of Starbucks while the rest of our friends shopped. As I approached the register counter, looking for my wallet, I heard one of the cashiers say “Sir, I can help you over here”. After a couple of moments I turned my head to see that I was the only person resembling a male in the entire coffee shop, so realizing the cashier was talking to me, I went up and placed my order. After ordering a coffee and a soy chai latte with no foam, the cashier (a girl who looked like she was in her late teens or early twenties) asked for the name on the order, to which I replied and handed her my Starbucks gold card (which has my full name printed on the front). After paying, the cashier handed me the coffee and I headed over to the counter to wait for the chai. A few moments later, a barista came and placed a drink on the counter and announced that she had a “soy chai latte with no foam for Steven”. A few moments later, realizing the drink was still on the counter she announced again that she had a drink for Steven and again no one took the drink. After looking around the entire Starbucks and seeing no men anywhere, I grabbed the drink (which had the name Steven scrolled on the front) off of the counter, realizing that the cashier had messed up the name on my order.
3. After our visit to the mall, we went back to the friend’s house, where we were staying, to gather our things and then headed to the 30th Street Station to wait for the bus back to New York City. Upon arriving early at 30th street, my friend and I decided to use the bathroom. Running into the station, we entered the empty ladies room. Being the first to finish, I washed my hands as I waited for my friend to come out of the stall. In the middle of washing my hands, an middle-aged woman entered the bathroom and the following conversation ensued:
Woman: Oh I must have the wrong bathroom
Me: Nope, you have the right one. I’m a woman.
4. On Sunday, October 30th, I decided that I needed a low maintenance Halloween costume. My friend and I decided that we were going to dress up as Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne which involved us wearing Superman and Batman logo tee-shirts underneath our regular clothes. Additionally, I needed some nerdy glasses to go with my costume so that afternoon I headed to CVS to see what I could find. Upon entering the store I saw an elderly woman who immediately waved me over. As I approached her, she asked me if I could help her put the items she had purchased (which consisted of about 25 cans of cat food) into her small shopping cart. As I helped her the following conversation ensued:
Elderly Lady: Thank you so much for your help, young man.
Me: Your welcome.
Elderly Lady: How old are you? You look like you’re about twelve or fourteen?
Elderly Lady: Are you a boy scout?
Elderly Lady: Well then you just did your good deed for the day. What’s your name?
Me: (Loading the last of the cat food into the cart) Chris.
Elderly: Thank you so much, Chris.
Me: You’re welcome.
5. The last incident happened on Halloween. On October 31st around 4pm, I rode the subway home from work. Now generally when I ride the subway, I listen to my ipod which, for the most part, distracts me from whatever else is going on. So in typical fashion, I hopped on the subway and plugged in, not paying any attention to the small group of teenagers who were standing across from where I was sitting. About five stops away from my stop, the teenagers moved closer to the doors of the subway and it was three stops away that the strangest thing happened. Right before the doors opened, one of the teenagers who was standing next to my seat placed his hand on my head and rubbed it vigorously as the other teenagers in the group laughed. Caught off guard, by the time I looked up to realize what had happened, the boy had already jetted out of the subway car right as the doors opened. Not really knowing what else to do, I went back to listening to my headphones.
Happy New Year!